Before I met the team at Hope into Action, I had been living in a women’s refuge for nearly six months after escaping an unhappy home with my two young children and an abusive partner.
While I was with my partner, part of me believed that I was deserving of the level of control and the unkindness I was experiencing. I hadn’t known anything different. Everything in our lives was controlled, from finances to time and house management. I felt completely disempowered, and wasn’t able to process what I had been experiencing. It got to the point where I was struggling so much, I had an emotional breakdown and called my sister. She convinced me that it was time to leave with the children and escape our situation. I had no money or place to go, and so I sought the help of a women’s refuge after my sister called the domestic abuse helpline and they referred me.
The refuge was an intense and often unsettling environment, never knowing what was going to happen next. I had to learn quickly how to gauge people's moods. We were expected to clean the house and staff's toilets. This was often the cause of disputes and arguments amongst the residents, most of whom had experienced trauma. There was no freedom or opportunity for independence, especially for the children. It was a very difficult time for my family and a desperate time as doors to more permanent accommodation just seemed to close again and again. In the end I was left with no hope that we would ever get out of our situation.
When I heard that Hope into Action had a house that might be available, I couldn’t believe that it was real. I had put up emotional barriers to protect myself from further disappointment. It took a lot of convincing from staff that the offer of a house was real. When I was reassured by the team that the house was definitely being offered to me, I was overwhelmed. I broke down into tears and felt unable to stop crying. It was like a tiny glimmer of hope had been allowed to creep in. I saw the house and experienced the same feeling of disbelief and joy. Finally a place to call my own, where we would be safe from all that we had been through.
With the help of our new home and support from the staff and others in the church, our lives have changed for the better. I have been given the chance to reflect and process my own journey, my trauma, and I have experienced peace and healing that I had not thought possible before now.